youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
