Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
