As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
