i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
