And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
