Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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