her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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