What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
