I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
