I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
