Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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