Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How does it feel to date your dad?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
