I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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