I skipped work to stalk him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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