Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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