We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
