I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sponge bath it is.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
