Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
