So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
