So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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