Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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