C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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