; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
