ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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