So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize