Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
