just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
