so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize