If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
