weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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