We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
