I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
