the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
