This is not my ceiling
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
