So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
