I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
