I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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