im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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