Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
