She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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