So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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