I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
