What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
