If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She bit a glass in half.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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