I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
