you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
