You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
