You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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