she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
