his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
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Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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