I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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