I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
