If that was your dad, he is hot
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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