bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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