dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
