I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize