New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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