u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize